Eliza by Barry Pain Page 1 of 76


Eliza's Husband
The Cards
Eliza's Mother
Miss Sakers
The Orchestrome
The Tonic Port
The Gentleman of Title
The Hat
My Fortune
The Unsolved Problem
The Day Off
The Mushroom
The Pleasant Surprise
The Mopworths
The Pen-wiper

The 9.43
The Conundrums
The Ink
The Public Scandal
The "Christian Martyr"
The Pagrams


"Suppose," I said to one of the junior clerks at our office the other day, "you were asked to describe yourself in a few words, could you do it?"

His answer that he could describe me in two was no answer at all. Also the two words were not a description, and were so offensive that I did not continue the conversation.

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